Friday, February 10, 2012

Under pressure

"It all seemed to have been arranged—Seton sensed this when he opened the door of his house that evening and walked down the hall into the living room. (...) "Hello," he said loudly and cheerfully. Sobbing and moaning rent the air. In the middle of the small living room stood an ironing board. One of his shirts was draped over it, and his wife, Jessica, wiped away a tear as she ironed. Near the piano stood Jocelin, the baby. Jocelin was howling. Sitting in a chair near her little sister was Millicent, his oldest daughter, sobbing and holding in her hands the pieces of a broken doll. Phyllis, the middle child, was on her hands and knees, prying the stuffing out of an armchair with a beer-can opener. Clouds of smoke from what smelled like a burning leg of lamb drifted out of the open kitchen door into the living room. He could not believe that they had passed the day in such disorder. It must all have been planned, arranged—including the conflagration in the oven—for the moment of his homecoming. He even thought he saw a look of inner tranquility on his wife's harassed face as she glanced around the room and admired the effectiveness of the scene. (...)"
by Cheever John - "The music teacher"

Ha!!! How I LOVE this paragraph! It's one of the many realistic scenes I've read about from the book that's currently on Adrian's bookshelf and that made me hope I'll read it someday too. This guy knows so well what he is talking about! And this book (the Stories of John Cheever) became a must read for me.

But not about genius writers I want to write in this post.
But about parenting. About how not-funny-at-all it can become sometimes. How frustrating it can be. What a struggle it sometimes is. What a burst of nerves. What a parade of tantrums...

There are books, magazines, TV-shows, courses, even remedies ;-) that promise us so much and so many. They promise us that we can become perfect parents if we only wish hard for it.
My opinion (unfortunately) still remains that theory is far away from practice. At least, in our case, when PMS is knocking on my door, when planets are not properly aligned, when the devil is around!? or when we are too tired and not much energy is left, all the theory I know that I should apply is gone, far away from my brain and then I... screw up. And the only reason I see here is because I also have my limits.

I had some tough days lately. Days with scenes like these:
* Ilaria ripped one sheet from the book I was reading. After few minutes she was "totally" absorbed in a new wood blocks game (I tried the "something new and interesting" strategy on that day), when Maria woke up crying. Ilaria was so "absorbed" with her new game that, faster then me, she reached Maria and tried to solve the problem in her own way - by slapping her sister. I took Ilaria in the kitchen so she can help me with... pouring some milk on the floor. Frustrated, she went directly to a pile of folded laundry not put in the drawer yet and she messed it up.
* I was driving to and from the park with Maria desperately crying non-stop. We had to short our outdoor time as Ilaria wetted her clothes. When back home, our parking place was taken (in a crowded city where parking places are way too less)
* I was preparing the meal so I had to stir in the pot while rocking the crying baby and while Ilaria had a tantrum on what exactly youtube movie she HAD to watch on exactly that moment
* I've just put Maria to sleep in the crib when Ilaria entered the room speaking loudly. As explanations were not enough for her, I closed Maria's room's door with me inside and Ilaria outside. After few seconds Ilaria's clothes were wet... (since that day, at least one of the rooms' door is locked - Maria's while she is sleeping and Ilaria is awake and/or Ilaria's when she is punished)
* and so on...

But, thinking of mothers who successfully handle much more than I do (I love, love, love this blog) and living sweet moments like this one:help me keep going and make me want to become a better mother and a stronger person.

Here is a really good post on the same theme. She is so saying it!

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1 comment:

Adrian said...

I have the same feeling like the guy from the story. Hm..

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