Sunday, October 16, 2016

If only life would let me

This is a typical scene from our living room.
It's 1AM and I'm the only one still awake in the house.
And it hits me again. That feeling of gratitude. That feeling of fulfillment. This is my happiness, amidst the mess. And I don't see the mess anymore, but all the gifts behind it.
I have a family of six healthy people, a loving husband, both parents alive, generous sister and niece, one grandmother aged 90, a helpful mother in law, friends, country home, car, a mulberry tree in the orchard.

I hope we won't settle, as I want some more: some furniture, a neat house, a seven-seater, revisit Tirol and Toscana, a walnut in the orchard, some roses and a lilac in the garden.

Sometimes I am exhausted (Adrian out of town, all kids with stomach flu) and sometimes I am frustrated (day after day goes by and I'm not able to bake the apple pie I'm dreaming of) and sometimes I'm crazily angry (I get unreasonable demands instead of appreciation), but they are little things compared to the multitude of dramas that happen around us.

Usually I am happy and I would live like this forever, if only life would let me!
God, give me strength to deal with my blessings!

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