A poem for mother's soul

This is too good and true and touching not to be shared here too.

"To My Grown-Up Son"

by Alice E. Chase

My hands were busy through the day,

I didn't have much time to play

The little games you asked me to,

I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes; I'd sew and cook,

But when you'd bring your picture book

And ask me, please, to share your fun,

I'd say, "A little later, son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night,

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door,

I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, and years rush past,

A little boy grows up so fast,

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no children's games to play,

No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear,

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now lie still,

The days are long and hard to fill,

I wish I might go back and do,

The little things you asked me to.

(source: http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/2013/05/encouragement-for-week.html)

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Ilaria, thank you for the fun!

***

Mult timp Ilaria s-a visat prinţ! În ciuda comentariilor celor din jur care îi spuneam că fetiţele sunt prinţese, iar titlul de prinţ le este rezervat băieţilor, ea a continuat luni în şir să-şi poarte mândră "pelerina" roşie de prinţ.
Acest dialog înainte de culcare s-a repetat de câteva ori:
Eu: Nopte bună, îngeraş!
Ilaria: Nu sunt îngeraş!
Eu: Dar ce eşti?
Ilaria: Sunt prinţ. Sunt Prinţul Fericit.
Eu: Noapte bună, Prinţule!
Ilaria: Noapte bună, Mami!

Acum a depăşit acea perioadă şi mai are încă de dat nişte telefoane ca să dea de ştire că acum vrea să fie prinţesă. Mai ales pe Moşu vrea să-l anunţe. El se arătase cel mai revoltat de alegerea ei de până acum.

***

Ilaria: Mami, de ce dormi pe perna aia?
Eu: Pe a mea mi-a luat-o Tati.
Ilaria: I-o iaie..... Oaie....
(incercările ei de a spune "ia-i-o")

***

Ilaria: Mami, e întuneric la mine în gură?

***

Ilaria: Unde dorm avioanele?

***

Dacă mănânc usturoi:
Ilaria: Nu mai sta aşa aproape de mine.
Eu: De ce?
Ilaria: Miroşi urât.
Eu: A ce miros?
Ilaria: A mămică.

***

Ne pregăteam să plecăm la Mărcuş.
Eu: Haideţi grădinăreselor odată! Hai grădinăreasă mică şi hai grădinăreasă mare!
În hol, Maria o impinge pe Ilaria, iar Ilaria protestează spunând:
Ce o împingi pe grădinăreasă? Unde ai mai văzut tu grădinăreasă împinsă?


***

Pe maşină:
Ilaria: A ce miroase în maşină?
Eu: A cremă de mâini.
Ilaria: Şi eu vreau cremă de mâini.
Eu: Dar mâinile tale nu sunt uscate.
Ilaria: Ba da, sunt. Uite aici, la genunchii mâinilor. (şi îmi arată locul de unde încep degetele)
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Of Pinterest inspiration

This was another hard week (after last week, of vacation!), with Ilaria home the last three days due to a stomach flu. My only option was to come fast and often with something new, otherwise the girls would have eaten me alive.

Thanks to Pinterest I am full of ideas ;-)
This is one I was planning for Christmas, but due to lack of a huge box, the idea came to life only today.


Thanks God for Pinterest! We had fun!
(source)
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The Notebook. Wow!!

In case you are romantic and you are prepared to cry your heart out while watching a marvelous movie, watch this:

It's painfully romantic and sweet and real! Loved it so much that I can't wait to watch it again!

"I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts.

I've led a common life.

There are no monuments dedicated to me.

And my name will soon be forgotten.

But in one respect, I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived.(...)

I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough."

"Science goes only so far and then comes God."

"Look, guys, that's my sweetheart in there.

I'm not leaving her.

This is my home now.

Your mother is my home."

P.S. My other favorite movies - here.

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God outsmarted us

I spent the last three months visiting doctors in order to find out what I was really "suffering" of.
I had no pain, no symptom. I even had no clue, until 17th of November when I've been told there was something wrong.

I lived few days with the bitter painful awful dark feeling that I have the worst disease on the earth. I know my suffering was just a tiny fraction of what it could have been, as mine was just the fruit of my own imagination and not the one which come from the certainty of really having the worst disease on the earth. And still it was really painful.

And then again, I lived few weeks dreaming I don't have to move a finger in order to make things right again.
I was looking for that good doctor which would have told me that surgery was not needed. But I didn't find him.

So, in the end, on 15th of February, together with Adrian, we headed toward Tg. Mures for a planned surgery. As two of the best doctors warned me, half of me was ready to say good bye to half of my potential future children, by laparoscopy! The other half of me was hoping for the best, hoping that doctors were wrong, but scared enough that I would fall in depression if things won't go as I was dreaming.

13: 45. Time for surgery came. And passed. I woke up realizing immediately that laparoscopy didn't work. And then, I don't know who, where and when informed me that things went better than anyone ever hoped: the not-so-little "something" wasn't related to gynecology at all and it went out without a problem.
So suddenly everything bad disappeared. All black thoughts, all hard months, all worries and nightmares vanished as they never existed and were replaced by gratefulness, thankfulness, light and love.

I know that God made this on purpose to me. This time He outsmarted us in a good way. He made us think of all things bad and in the end gave us all things good. I promise I won't ask Him "Why?" again, but I rather tell Him "Thank you!". Who wouldn't do the same?




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Ilaria, thank you for the fun!

Below are the funniest conversations I had with Ilaria between 22nd of October 2012 and today. I write them in Romanian, so I don't spoil the humor.

***

- Unde e Ioana acuma?
- La gradi, ca mamica ei merge la servici.
- Tu nu mergi la servici?
- Sa merg si eu la servici?
- Da!
- Si voi cu cine ramaneti acasa?
- Cu Tati.
- Dar Tati merge si el la servici.
- Ramanem singure, eu cu Maria acasa.
- Si cand vi se face foame ce faceti?
- Plangem!
- Si ce rezolvati daca plangeti?
- Plangem plangem plangem... pana la linistit.
- Bine, va linistiti dar tot nu ati mancat nimic. Ce faceti mai departe?
- Ne jucam cu jucariile.

***

Ilaria:
Mami, vreau şi eu codiţe, aşa, ca Pippi Şoseţica!
Da' Mami, şi Tati e un Pippi Şoseţic?

***

Ilaria: astazi a fost la gradi un nene care ne-a facut poze
Eu: si cum il chema pe nenea ala?
Ilaria: nu il chema nimica. Numa' ne facea poze.

***

Ilaria: Mami, de unde-i tabloul ala?
Eu: Am fost odata cu Tati la un magazin si l-am cumparat de acolo
Ilaria: si eu cu Maria unde eram? Am ramas acasa singure?
Eu: nu, Mami, voi nu erati nascute pe vremea aia.
Ilaria (maraita): Maaaamiiiiiii si eu vreau sa fiu nascuta. Si Maria vreau sa fie nascuta.

***

Ilaria momentan fascinata de Alba ca Zapada si de Printul ei:
"Mami, si eu si Maria suntem Alba ca Zapada. Si Mami, tu esti printul meu si Tati e printul lu' Maria"

***

Ilaria: Mami, zi-mi povestea aia pe care mi-a zis-o Tati
Mami: da' de unde ti-o zis-o? Ti-o citit-o dintr-o carte?
Ilaria: nu. Era din gura lui.

***

Dilema mare: ce urmeaza dupa 4
Eu: 1,2,3
Ilaria: nu vreau sa numar
Eu: ce urmeaza dupa 4?
Ilaria: nu vreau sa numar
Eu: cate degete ai la o mana?
Ilaria: multe

***

Ilaria a ajuns la faza în care, oricât de mult te-ai strădui, tot nu faci bine.

Niciun cântecel nu-l cântă nimeni la fel de bine ca ea. Nicio poezioară nu o recită nimeni la fel de bine ca ea. Nici măcar la a ţine un ursuleţ în braţe nu te califici. Toată strădania ţi-e "răsplătită" cu un "Nu asa, asa:...".

Cel mai distractiv exemplu de până acum:
Ce mănânca animalele?
Buni M.: calul?
Ilaria: iarbă
Buni M.: căţelul?
Ilaria: pâine
Buni M.: pisica?
Ilaria: !?
Buni M.: lapte!?
Ilaria: Nuuuu! Alt lapte!

***

Pe la ora 18:
Ilaria: Mami, e ora de nani?
Eu: Nu, Ilaria, numa' mai târziu. Dar de ce întrebi?
Ilaria: Păi întreb dacă mi-e somn sau nu mi-e somn.

***

Mă străduiesc în fiecare seară să o învăţ pe Ilaria "Tatăl nostru". Cred că avem deja 1 an de când repetăm. Zic eu câteva cuvinte, apoi o pun pe ea să repete după mine. I se pare f. greu, aşa că mai nou îmi zice dinainte că nu vrea "să-l zicem aşa, pe bucăţi bucăţi", ci să-l zicem "maaare" si când zice "mare" arată cu mâinile ca o minge uriaşă, iar asta înseamnă că trebuie să-l zic eu pe tot, iar ea doar să asculte.
Într-una din seri, eu cam nemulţumită de progres:
Eu: "pâinea noastră cea de toate zilele"
Ilaria: "pâinea noastră cea de toate zilele"
Eu: "dă-ne-o nouă astăzi"
Ilaria: "dă-ne-o nouă astăzi"
Eu: "şi ne iartă nouă greşelile noastre. Uuuuffffffff"
Ilaria: "şi ne iartă nouă greşelile noastre. Uuuuffffffff"

***

O poveste de noapte bună:
Eu: "Trăiau odată într-o pădure un moş şi o babă. Şi nu aveau pe nimeni. Nu aveau niciun copil..."
Ilaria: Mami, nu ştiu cum îl chema pe copilul pe care nu l-au avut.

***

Într-o seară, Ilaria era devastată că Winnie căzuse în fântână. Abia se oprea din plâns ca să înceapă din nou. La telefon cu Moşu:
Ilaria: Sunt supărată pe Winnie că de ce a căzut în fântână.
Moşu (probabil): Cine? Ce a făcut?
Ilaria: Păi tu nu ai auzit că a căzut Winnie în fântână?
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There's nowhere else on Earth I rather be

Adrian is repeating me often: "Don't forget the blog". Oh, yes, I don't ever forget it, but "it's so hard with 2 little kids", I answer him. It's so hard to be fed, rested, joyful, free of frustrations, content, to properly take care of family and house, to write on blog, all of the above in the same time. But I read blogs of mothers with 5, 6 and even 8 kids, so, I think, writing in English became a blocking point in my case. I should ignore my poor English and write more often here. This blog is and, most probably, will be a treasure for my family.

On Saturday, 17th of November, 2012, during a routine check, my doctor discovered that I "have something". The 4 days long until we got more details on that "something", I had plenty of time to picture my family without me in it, to look with stranger eyes at the world and people around me, to question myself "who will rise my girls the way that I want to?", "who will struggle that my girls will become the people that I dream them to become?", "who will help Adrian?". I had plenty of time to ask God: "please, allow me to see my girls grown-ups!". Just this. BIG thing. And it seems I'm on the safe side. We still don't know exactly what that "something" is and, most probably, an operation is waiting for me soon and now I'm not that confident anymore that all my dreams will come true, but, as my doctor said: "it's nothing that puts your life under risk". And this is something!
Those 4 days, and even longer, I asked myself: "how would my girls remember me?". And the answer scared me a lot: "they won't remember me at all". They are too young to remember anything that happened until now in their little lives. All I would leave for them now would be the thousands pictures I took for them and this blog!

These dark days of my existence made me realize I really live for my family and here is where I want to be the most. Here, beside them, serving them. I don't have one single day dream without my family in it.
I heard (and even experienced few times) that if you really wish for something, the whole Universe will work for you in order to fulfill that dream. So may God allow me to fulfill mine too!

Work hard, serve, hug, kiss and say "I love you!". It's all that really matter!

I wish all the best in 2013 to every one of you, my faithful readers!

Raluca




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