The Notebook. Wow!!

In case you are romantic and you are prepared to cry your heart out while watching a marvelous movie, watch this:

It's painfully romantic and sweet and real! Loved it so much that I can't wait to watch it again!

"I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts.

I've led a common life.

There are no monuments dedicated to me.

And my name will soon be forgotten.

But in one respect, I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived.(...)

I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough."

"Science goes only so far and then comes God."

"Look, guys, that's my sweetheart in there.

I'm not leaving her.

This is my home now.

Your mother is my home."

P.S. My other favorite movies - here.

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God outsmarted us

I spent the last three months visiting doctors in order to find out what I was really "suffering" of.
I had no pain, no symptom. I even had no clue, until 17th of November when I've been told there was something wrong.

I lived few days with the bitter painful awful dark feeling that I have the worst disease on the earth. I know my suffering was just a tiny fraction of what it could have been, as mine was just the fruit of my own imagination and not the one which come from the certainty of really having the worst disease on the earth. And still it was really painful.

And then again, I lived few weeks dreaming I don't have to move a finger in order to make things right again.
I was looking for that good doctor which would have told me that surgery was not needed. But I didn't find him.

So, in the end, on 15th of February, together with Adrian, we headed toward Tg. Mures for a planned surgery. As two of the best doctors warned me, half of me was ready to say good bye to half of my potential future children, by laparoscopy! The other half of me was hoping for the best, hoping that doctors were wrong, but scared enough that I would fall in depression if things won't go as I was dreaming.

13: 45. Time for surgery came. And passed. I woke up realizing immediately that laparoscopy didn't work. And then, I don't know who, where and when informed me that things went better than anyone ever hoped: the not-so-little "something" wasn't related to gynecology at all and it went out without a problem.
So suddenly everything bad disappeared. All black thoughts, all hard months, all worries and nightmares vanished as they never existed and were replaced by gratefulness, thankfulness, light and love.

I know that God made this on purpose to me. This time He outsmarted us in a good way. He made us think of all things bad and in the end gave us all things good. I promise I won't ask Him "Why?" again, but I rather tell Him "Thank you!". Who wouldn't do the same?




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Ilaria, thank you for the fun! (#1)

Below are the funniest conversations I had with Ilaria between 22nd of October 2012 and today. I write them in Romanian, so I don't spoil the humor.

***

- Unde e Ioana acuma?
- La gradi, ca mamica ei merge la servici.
- Tu nu mergi la servici?
- Sa merg si eu la servici?
- Da!
- Si voi cu cine ramaneti acasa?
- Cu Tati.
- Dar Tati merge si el la servici.
- Ramanem singure, eu cu Maria acasa.
- Si cand vi se face foame ce faceti?
- Plangem!
- Si ce rezolvati daca plangeti?
- Plangem plangem plangem... pana la linistit.
- Bine, va linistiti dar tot nu ati mancat nimic. Ce faceti mai departe?
- Ne jucam cu jucariile.

***

Ilaria:
Mami, vreau şi eu codiţe, aşa, ca Pippi Şoseţica!
Da' Mami, şi Tati e un Pippi Şoseţic?

***

Ilaria: astazi a fost la gradi un nene care ne-a facut poze
Eu: si cum il chema pe nenea ala?
Ilaria: nu il chema nimica. Numa' ne facea poze.

***

Ilaria: Mami, de unde-i tabloul ala?
Eu: Am fost odata cu Tati la un magazin si l-am cumparat de acolo
Ilaria: si eu cu Maria unde eram? Am ramas acasa singure?
Eu: nu, Mami, voi nu erati nascute pe vremea aia.
Ilaria (maraita): Maaaamiiiiiii si eu vreau sa fiu nascuta. Si Maria vreau sa fie nascuta.

***

Ilaria momentan fascinata de Alba ca Zapada si de Printul ei:
"Mami, si eu si Maria suntem Alba ca Zapada. Si Mami, tu esti printul meu si Tati e printul lu' Maria"

***

Ilaria: Mami, zi-mi povestea aia pe care mi-a zis-o Tati
Mami: da' de unde ti-o zis-o? Ti-o citit-o dintr-o carte?
Ilaria: nu. Era din gura lui.

***

Dilema mare: ce urmeaza dupa 4
Eu: 1,2,3
Ilaria: nu vreau sa numar
Eu: ce urmeaza dupa 4?
Ilaria: nu vreau sa numar
Eu: cate degete ai la o mana?
Ilaria: multe

***

Ilaria a ajuns la faza în care, oricât de mult te-ai strădui, tot nu faci bine.

Niciun cântecel nu-l cântă nimeni la fel de bine ca ea. Nicio poezioară nu o recită nimeni la fel de bine ca ea. Nici măcar la a ţine un ursuleţ în braţe nu te califici. Toată strădania ţi-e "răsplătită" cu un "Nu asa, asa:...".

Cel mai distractiv exemplu de până acum:
Ce mănânca animalele?
Buni M.: calul?
Ilaria: iarbă
Buni M.: căţelul?
Ilaria: pâine
Buni M.: pisica?
Ilaria: !?
Buni M.: lapte!?
Ilaria: Nuuuu! Alt lapte!

***

Pe la ora 18:
Ilaria: Mami, e ora de nani?
Eu: Nu, Ilaria, numa' mai târziu. Dar de ce întrebi?
Ilaria: Păi întreb dacă mi-e somn sau nu mi-e somn.

***

Mă străduiesc în fiecare seară să o învăţ pe Ilaria "Tatăl nostru". Cred că avem deja 1 an de când repetăm. Zic eu câteva cuvinte, apoi o pun pe ea să repete după mine. I se pare f. greu, aşa că mai nou îmi zice dinainte că nu vrea "să-l zicem aşa, pe bucăţi bucăţi", ci să-l zicem "maaare" si când zice "mare" arată cu mâinile ca o minge uriaşă, iar asta înseamnă că trebuie să-l zic eu pe tot, iar ea doar să asculte.
Într-una din seri, eu cam nemulţumită de progres:
Eu: "pâinea noastră cea de toate zilele"
Ilaria: "pâinea noastră cea de toate zilele"
Eu: "dă-ne-o nouă astăzi"
Ilaria: "dă-ne-o nouă astăzi"
Eu: "şi ne iartă nouă greşelile noastre. Uuuuffffffff"
Ilaria: "şi ne iartă nouă greşelile noastre. Uuuuffffffff"

***

O poveste de noapte bună:
Eu: "Trăiau odată într-o pădure un moş şi o babă. Şi nu aveau pe nimeni. Nu aveau niciun copil..."
Ilaria: Mami, nu ştiu cum îl chema pe copilul pe care nu l-au avut.

***

Într-o seară, Ilaria era devastată că Winnie căzuse în fântână. Abia se oprea din plâns ca să înceapă din nou. La telefon cu Moşu:
Ilaria: Sunt supărată pe Winnie că de ce a căzut în fântână.
Moşu (probabil): Cine? Ce a făcut?
Ilaria: Păi tu nu ai auzit că a căzut Winnie în fântână?
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There's nowhere else on Earth I rather be

Adrian is repeating me often: "Don't forget the blog". Oh, yes, I don't ever forget it, but "it's so hard with 2 little kids", I answer him. It's so hard to be fed, rested, joyful, free of frustrations, content, to properly take care of family and house, to write on blog, all of the above in the same time. But I read blogs of mothers with 5, 6 and even 8 kids, so, I think, writing in English became a blocking point in my case. I should ignore my poor English and write more often here. This blog is and, most probably, will be a treasure for my family.

On Saturday, 17th of November, 2012, during a routine check, my doctor discovered that I "have something". The 4 days long until we got more details on that "something", I had plenty of time to picture my family without me in it, to look with stranger eyes at the world and people around me, to question myself "who will rise my girls the way that I want to?", "who will struggle that my girls will become the people that I dream them to become?", "who will help Adrian?". I had plenty of time to ask God: "please, allow me to see my girls grown-ups!". Just this. BIG thing. And it seems I'm on the safe side. We still don't know exactly what that "something" is and, most probably, an operation is waiting for me soon and now I'm not that confident anymore that all my dreams will come true, but, as my doctor said: "it's nothing that puts your life under risk". And this is something!
Those 4 days, and even longer, I asked myself: "how would my girls remember me?". And the answer scared me a lot: "they won't remember me at all". They are too young to remember anything that happened until now in their little lives. All I would leave for them now would be the thousands pictures I took for them and this blog!

These dark days of my existence made me realize I really live for my family and here is where I want to be the most. Here, beside them, serving them. I don't have one single day dream without my family in it.
I heard (and even experienced few times) that if you really wish for something, the whole Universe will work for you in order to fulfill that dream. So may God allow me to fulfill mine too!

Work hard, serve, hug, kiss and say "I love you!". It's all that really matter!

I wish all the best in 2013 to every one of you, my faithful readers!

Raluca




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One thousand gifts (part eight)

103. linden tree fragrance

104. the sound of Adrian's key in the door when he is back home from work

105. morning showers with my favourite shower gel now (Brazilian Coffee Beans from Yves Rocher):


106. homemade olives and onion pizza

107. funny kids - Ilaria: "Why am I upset?", "Why do I like tea?", "Why did I cry?", "When Daddy will be a Mommy he will wear a bra too", "I'm as beautiful as a cow", "When I will be a cow I will wear a cow bell too", "When I will be a baby I will get a pacifier too"

108. sweet kids: after spending few days in Sighisoara at my parents without Adrian: 
My Mom: "Ilaria, do you want me to tell you a story?"
Ilaria: "Yes!"
My Mom: "What about would you like it to be?"
Ilaria: "About Daddy."

109. our family, whole, as it is: with a Daddy, a Mommy ad kids. What a gift!! (I hope I won't ever take this for granted.)

110. Ilaria inventing new words: fucuiută and fucupată.

111. wrongly spelled words by Ilaria. I can hardly think about many anymore. She still says "puncături" instead of "cumpărături".

112. preparing in the morning the sandwich for Ilaria for kindergarten. I make her a surprise every day by wrapping it in a nice paper napkin

113. slow time, me and Maria home alone. She plays with her toys and from time to time she comes to me for some hugs then she turns back to her "business"

114. happy little souls around us. Ilaria helping Daddy to plant trees:

115. angel in our house


116. this pair of blue eyes fascinates me every day especially after the afternoon nap


117. happy little souls around us. Happy to watch a tree being cut down:

This post has been linked to Ann Voskamp's gratitude community:

  

Have a blessed week!

Raluca

P.S.: My previous "One thousand gifts" post can be found here.
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Watched it and it is so good

I know I risk to transform this personal blog of mine into one blog that recommends movies and that's pretty much all, but, as my time for blogging is currently reduced to few minutes per week, I prefer to write something as often as possible rather than write nothing at all. And because I always loved to share the beautiful and the amazing things I witness in this life, here I go with another great movie:


I don't recommend it here because it is beautiful or nice (because, unfortunately, it isn't any of those), but because it is very good and because the story behind it is ( of course :-) ) true! It is that kind of movie that makes you exclaim: "These Americans really know how to make a movie!".

I couldn't watch it second time. It was a little disturbingly for my heart.
But it was great to realize once again what huge crosses have others to carry in this life and how there could be hope even in the darkest situation...
Warning for mothers: tissues are needed!


- Your child is clearly autistic. (...) We generally recommend an institution.
- I wouldn't wanna miss her first words.
- She probably will never speak. (...) It's been suggested that it may be a lack of bonding with the mother... That at a crucial phase, the mother was cold, aloof, when the child most needed physical affection.(...)

Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be. I touched the first cow as it was being stunned. In a few seconds, it was gonna be just another piece of beef, but... In that moment, it was still an individual. It was calm and then it was gone. I became aware of how precious life was. And I thought about death and I felt close to God.I don't want my thoughts to die with me. I want to have done something.
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Kindergarten

Last Monday Ilaria restarted kindergarten. This time officially, with opening ceremony.

We did our best to prepare her for the days ahead. We explained her about new friends, toys, games, a kind teacher.


But the first day was painful. For her and for me. I had to literary let the teacher grab Ilaria from my arms, against Ilaria's will, as no argument was enough to make her feel safe there, "alone". She broke my heart and we both poured tears. Since that day, Adrian is the one who leaves her in the kindergarten and I feel much better, selfish myself!

(this was her 2nd day. pretty good, I would say.)

She went there four days last week, time enough to get a "good" flu virus which put down all three of us, the girls in the house. And then, on Friday, as she stayed home ill, she didn't break my heart anymore, but my brain this time.. :-)
This week she is a veteran already and she simply loves to join her colleagues in the kindergarten. In the morning she doesn't even allow herself to drink her milk and she tells Adrian: "OK Tati, let's go to the kindergarten now!". And she sings and she laughs while heading there.
She has some problems when I go to pick her up, as four hours seem to be still too much for her or/and she is afraid I would abandon her there someday. But then, the next day, she is happy and willing to go in kindergarten again.


Proud of you, Ilaria!
We surely love you and will come to get you for the fun in the park daily! We promise!
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